Awkward foot shuffle increases web traffic for southland mutton Pies

Traditional South Island Mutton Pie from Fat Bastard Pies in Invercargill

Words by Lou Evans

“Any advice for people outside of Southland trying Fat Bastard Pies for the first time?” – Seven Sharp presenter, Jeremy Wells, innocently asks during a pre-recorded interview. Both James and Simon pause awkwardly. There’s a shuffling of feet.

A nervous, “ooouh,” leads Simon's official response to the nation: “The only advice is watch out for the mutton pie. Southland mutton makes for an interesting, unique pie. Don’t expect a whole lot of gravy. Maybe Google what a mutton pie is before ordering it.”

Once the camera turns off James panics, “Why did you talk about that bloody mutton pie!? It’s a pain in the arse to make, you know!” Frustrated, he steps Simon through the seemingly endless process for mutton pies. A nonplussed Simon, “No one will order them.” Cue: Web Traffic Surge on Mutton Pies.

The exposure of Seven Sharp had not only captured the imagination of an enormous number of Fat Bastards across the country, it had also piqued a curiosity in mutton pies. Google's top searches revealed increased traffic for the terms “Southland mutton,” and “buy mutton pies NZ.” The Invercargill bakery sold over 800 mutton pies that week, and the local supplier for the hagged sheep meat, “ran out of mutton.”

We asked James for an official comment. His only contribution remains, “Don’t talk about that f*cking mutton pie.”

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New Zealand's official satirical pie related news serving up the stories that matter to kiwi's across the nation. The Fat Bastard Times is a monthly publication distributed to Pie Club members via a box of pies. Each story is then published here on the internet for historical archiving purposes. The editorial news room is headquartered at the home of Fat Bastard Pies in Invercargill NZ.